unklerupert’s knee

Dreams are great, specially lucid ones that come with the winter flu.

I am just on the tail end of the nasty, this morning I was having a particularly lucid dream where I had gone swimming off bondi beach in Sydney, Australia after necking 6 pints of Caffreys.

I was warned not to enter the sea as most reckoned I was pissed, this turned out to be true and no sooner had I entered the waves, I realized I could not remember which beach I was supposed to swim back to. I panicked, and swam quickly (although drunkenly) to the nearest beach. This turned out to be a mistake when, wandering round what I soon discovered to be the bad part of town (in just me trunks) I was set upon by a gang of tooth robbing pikeys who proceeded to extract my teeth with mole grips! As I managed to break free of their sweaty, oily grasp, I changed into a 7 year old boy, and hid underneath a concrete play area with 2 other chaps who informed me that this was the best place to avoid the pikeys and keep what few teeth I had. Bad move, as the chief pikey saw me, as he approached, I knew I was gonna get a kicking… It was at this moment that Andy Johnston from Cardiff called and woke me up @ 07:10 this morning. Praise be.

Thank you Andy, you saved me a kicking!